Self Portrait by Odilon Redon

Self Portrait, by Odilon Redon

"My drawings inspire, and are not to be defined. They place us, as does music, in the ambiguous realm of the undetermined."

 ~Odilon Redon

Self Portrait by Odilon Redon

It is indeed indeterminate, this face,

behind the beard worn always to cover, to mask –
and from within the shadowy side of this painting,
almost blurry. The eyes hold a stare

deliberately expressionless, gazing beyond us

into nothing. Even the colour is indefinite.

There’s a small splash of yellow and blue 

in the background, but he himself is all dun.

Even the flesh is hardly brighter. The white

of one eye, though dim, stands out enough

to pull my attention there. Behind this eye,

he seems to hint, there could be stories ... 
but it is clear (as much as anything in this murk

might be clear) if stories there are – and it is not 

certain – he will never reveal them. Therefore

that glaring eye is a lie, or at least a distraction,

in reality promising nothing. You can also tell

that the mouth, surreptitious under that beard, 

is pursed: suggesting a character mean or prissy.

In what way might this self-dislike inspire?

Written in response to April 2020 Day 9 at 'imaginary garden with real toads', where we are asked to write about a painting by Odilon Redon. I guess I took it out on poor Odilon. (Did I ever mention how much I hate doing ekphrastics?)