In Interactive Moonlight Musings #2: "That's Not What I Meant" at Poets United, Magaly asks us how we react when our writings are misinterpreted (and to write of this in 369 or fewer words).
Is It Me Or Is It Them?
I write a poem full of sorrow for a friend’s approaching death. A reader feels glad I’m so happy in my friendship.
I rail at political decisions I deplore. Someone professes agreement (!) that we’re lucky to be well governed.
I indulge in a piece of light-hearted nonsense. People tell me it’s deeply moving, profound.
It’s wonderful to be in this poetic community where we can exchange feedback on our work. Yet how disconcerting when readers who believe they understand a poem get it completely wrong!
Have I written it badly? Is it perhaps a cultural difficulty? Or are they just plain dumb?
If only one reader misunderstands while everyone else gets it, it can’t be a fault in my writing. Maybe, when we respond to prompts then try to read as many other responses as we can, we skip through them too quickly and form a hasty impression. Perhaps we don’t give ourselves enough time to savour the finer points.
Does it matter? Yes! I want to be understood. Also I don’t want other readers who did understand thinking they must have got it wrong. So I try to clarify the matter in a reply to the mistaken comment, hoping other readers will see it even if the misunderstander doesn’t.
I try to be polite – even when inwardly screaming, ‘How could you POSSIBLY think that?’ (After all, they can’t help being stupid.)
When particular people consistently misunderstand, I realise we’re not on the same wavelength. They’ll never read me right; no point trying to explain. (I try anyway, for the sake of other readers. Many read the comments as well as the poem.)
Then there’s the mansplaining. Of course, none of the lovely men in our community would do that! Those others, who kindly inform me, in erudite detail, what I just said and what I meant, are lost causes. I ignore them.
Do I rewrite? Sometimes. Knowing in our own minds what we mean to say, we can miss connections which others need made visible. Sometimes it is me, not them.
And sometimes it’s them. My little Mum was always convinced particular poems were about her, no matter how I exclaimed (truthfully) ‘That person’s NOTHING like you!’
My monitor is now not-so-tastefully decorated with coffee I was about to swallow. I hope you are happy, lol!
ReplyDeleteThere are two bloggers who have been reading me for about 11 years, and for some reason they always read things into my words which I did not put there--one is always seeing sex where there is none, the other sees nothing but domestic violence (usually they see this in the same poem).
I used to try to clarify, elaborate on words and images that add to my point, but they would argue that the writing is most likely being done by my subconscious. No joke. After a while, I gave up on trying to explain it to them. These days, I just reply with an "Interesting..." (since it certainly is) or with a slightly perplexed smiley. And when they get to be too much, so out there that they reach offensive levels, I just delete them.
Thank you for this one, Rosemary. It's sooo good to know one is not alone.
Rushing through reading is bound to give people some screwy interpretations. LOL, I can recall some real doozies that made me wonder if people were looking at the wrong tab when they responded. I like to make sure I have quiet time when I respond, with a good cup of tea nearby.
ReplyDeleteThis is powerfully written, Rosemary!❤️ Sometimes people just miss the point we try to convey in our poems. I have spent many months agonizing over the responses of individuals who for some reason believed that my poetry was something out of fairyland. Like you mentioned, the best thing to do is to ignore them. After all, there are also those who delight in our writing! *wink*❤️
ReplyDeleteI think you make a good point about sometimes reading too quickly, and missing the meaning. Sometimes when i go back and read a poem another time, a day or two later, it is like a totally different poem......in that case, the problem is in the reading, rather than the poem. I always understand your poems though, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteAh well, we have always been much on the same wavelength (smile).
DeleteI agree that one thing that happens when reading lots of responses to a prompt is that one often skim-reads, which can lead to misunderstandings or misinterpretations. Sometimes I have trouble with small fonts or different coloured fonts, so I have to copy the text to Word to read it clearly. Several times I’ve had to give up and not comment if I haven’t been able to copy. If I have the time, I do read other people’s comments, which sometimes helps.
ReplyDeleteI can understand what you say about people who consistently misunderstand not being on the same wavelength, Rosemary.
You're very dedicated to go to so much trouble to read! I am lucky that my (Mac) computer has the 'zoom in' function in the View menu so I can make fonts look bigger if necessary with a click (and on the iPad it just takes a finger movement). I don't have the same control over my own font size, however. I have occasionally been in a position to discover that what I think is fine on one device can appear far too small on another! :(
DeleteI indulge in a piece of light-hearted nonsense.
ReplyDeletePeople tell me it’s deeply moving, profound.
It takes great talent to create humour in one's writing. Most often some take things seriously when instead of being patronising they should be smiling
Hank
ReplyDeleteI love your take on this. It can be frustrating sometimes when you’re misinterpreted- but I feel that this is people responding with their emotional side( I hope). Otherwise, I’d just move on. Good that you have the patience to correct the ignorant ones😊