‘Hello, Dutch,’ I say,
as an old friend’s music
plays on my phone,
his voice recorded
full of vigour,
then.
The years are not so long,
though long enough,
since the world lost you.
A little longer still since you and I
made what we knew
were our last goodbyes.
It was Bill we said goodbye to
that night (your old mate,
my ex – whom you knew
even longer than I did)
and you sang for him, for us all,
one final time.
And the little boys
were men already,
whose birthday parties
you used to bring songs to:
‘Oh the fox went out
one chilly night …’
hunched over your guitar,
swaying slightly,
tapping your toe,
eyes bright. ‘Play
St James’ Infirmary’
Bill would beg … and you did.
After the wake, you and I
in a quiet corner
reminisced, as the stragglers
packed up, and we briefly
exchanged the new facts
of our lives.
Then we nodded and parted,
the link between us gone,
shared memories laid to rest.
As you were too, at last,
sixteen years later. (Living far,
I didn’t attend your wake.)
I like to imagine you and Bill
meeting and yarning somewhere
now, as you did. Meanwhile
I say hello again
to you, your well-known voice,
and all those memories.
Sharing with Poets and Storytellers United on 18 July '25, for Friday Writings #186: Survive Out of Spite. But I can't find any spite in me today, and there are other ways of surviving, such as in the memories of friends. (Dutch, being a celebrated muso – not top of the pops but with a devoted following in both Australia and Holland, and admired by the American bluesman Brownie McGhee who became his friend – also survives in his recordings and their appreciation by blues-lovers.)
"shared memories laid to rest. / As you were too, at last"... a poignant remembering... holding on to beautiful memories.. sigh.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have the music still, albeit sparking mixed emotions.
DeleteThere are certain pieces of music that seem glued to memories - of people, of times, happiness and sadness - you have conveyed that beautifully and tenderly here - Jae
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteThose were the days my friend
ReplyDeleteWe thought they'd never end . . .
Been there too, before I ever married.
I enjoyed your write again like I always do, from the start, from the name Dutch. My daughter's Blue Russian cat is named Dutch. He was a rescue cat, so very nice.
I'll fit him in here just for you and the departed Dutch.
Thank you. (Smile.)
DeleteReading this poem again and feeling it - even more... the "Hello Dutch" brought tears on a second reading.
ReplyDeleteHe was Bill's friend more than mine – they were both Dutch-born, which was one bond – but mine too for many years. I see Wikipedia and other sites online speculating about unknown details of his personal life. I could tell them! But if he and others close to him didn't, I won't. It's about preserving the privacy of some who are left, as well as his own.
DeleteAnd of course the music comes tangled up with so many occasions, public and private; a whole history of his family life and ours, all intertwined with his professional life since the beginning of his career. I can't think of my personal history without him turning up in it from time to time. I knew him since 1965; Bill knew him from quite a few years earlier than that.
A lovely gentle response to the prompt. Maybe some memories survive in spite of us too?
ReplyDeleteOh yes, that's certainly possible.
DeleteAnd thanks for the kind words.
Your poem reminds me of how serious we could all be about relationships and friendships in our youth and how that changes over the years.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it spoke to you, and gave rise to your own musings.
DeleteCool that he survives in memories, good and bad but without spite!
ReplyDeletePK
Yes, I'm glad of it.
DeleteMemories of happy moments tend to persist more than those of the bad times. It's always good to remember someone who has passed in those moments of joy and pleasantness. Good write, Rosemary!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI can imagine the thrumming of all those music filled meetings and the somber tinge of that last evening. Also good on you for holding on to some of the details and preserving his privacy.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rommy.
DeleteI really enjoyed Dutch Tilders Blues. Thanks for this. I'm sure you have a lot of fun filled memories and I suspect our Rosemary may have been a bit of a wild gal in her younger years:)
ReplyDeletehttps://youtu.be/h4z3Q-X0Sqk?si=8fsw4QHXuuyovOdb
Dutch Tilders performance.
Yeah, he was very good indeed! (I was perhaps not as wild as some of the people around me.)
DeleteWhat a poignant remembrance ... last month I lost my Aussie "pen pal since 2009" to cancer. Your Dutch and Bill would have SO enjoyed him. A novelist, poet, bass guitar player in the Daly-Wilson Band of long ago. He lived in Bateman's Bay at the time of his passing. We came close to meeting early on in our friendship, he had planned on traveling to the States .. but couldn't quite pull it off for a variety of reasons. We chatted often via Skype, video made the friendship so much more real. I was able to meet members of his family, he met two of my children as well. His eldest daughter invited me to the Celebration of his life a few weeks ago ... $$$ my stumbling block. I have two of his CDs with songs he wrote for children's' plays .. he is singing. I miss him. Your post inspired my comment and I thank you so very much.
ReplyDeleteBut of course I remember the Daly-Wilson band! Which one was your friend? (Must have been John Helman.) He and Dutch may well have known each other. Aussie (professional) musos of those days, in all genres, tended to at least be acquainted
DeletePS It was cancer took Dutch, too. At Bill's funeral he whispered, to me alone, his secret: 'Jack Dancer.' But he beat it and lived many years after that, before it finally returned.
DeleteHis name ~ Stafford Ray. I remember him mentioning that Big Band however in re-thinking our 'conversations' it may have been in passing. I do know he played in orchestras for live TV shows for at least seven years. I am reading his last novel, published shortly before he passed: "Are We Planet B"
DeleteI looked him up on Google Books and found this:
DeleteAbout the author (2016)
Stafford Ray first studied Mechanical Engineering, and taught for a while in NSW Public Schools, before continuing his education by studying Science at Sydney University. Meanwhile he started a family and began to draw on his musical talents to become a session musician to supplement his income. Lucrative contracts followed, including work with several ABC-based bands and the Daly Wilson Big Band. The sudden onset of deafness in his 40s caused him to shift careers and move to the NSW Central Coast to become an asparagus farmer. Medical intervention restored most of his hearing and he is now back playing music as well as indulging in his new passion of writing novels.
The fact is we need to survive in "spite" of everything :)
ReplyDeleteGreat words.
Happy that you have no spite :)
Good point. And thank you.
Delete"The years are not so long,
ReplyDeletethough long enough,
since the world lost you."
This made me think of all the people I have lost. I hope they are together doing what they loved best. Beautiful poem, Rosemary.
Thank you, Sara. It's a good thought.
Delete