We who with songs beguile your pilgrimage / And swear that Beauty lives though lilies die, / We Poets of the proud old lineage / Who sing to find your hearts, we know not why ... (James Elroy Flecker)

7.1.23

Hello Goodbye – Again


‘Hello, Dutch,’ I say,

as an old friend’s music

plays on my phone,

his voice recorded 

full of vigour,

then.


The years are not so long,

though long enough, 

since the world lost you.

A little longer still since you and I

made what we knew 

were our last goodbyes.


It was Bill we said goodbye to

that night (your old mate, 

my ex – whom you knew 

even longer than I did) 

and you sang for him, for us all, 

one final time.


And the little boys

were men already,

whose birthday parties 

you used to bring songs to: 

‘Oh the fox went out

one chilly night …’


hunched over your guitar,

swaying slightly,

tapping your toe, 

eyes bright. ‘Play

St James’ Infirmary’

Bill would beg … and you did.


After the wake, you and I 

in a quiet corner

reminisced, as the stragglers

packed up, and we briefly

exchanged the new facts

of our lives. 

Then we nodded and parted,

the link between us gone,

shared memories laid to rest.

As you were too, at last,

sixteen years later. (Living far,

I didn’t attend your wake.)


I like to imagine you and Bill

meeting and yarning somewhere 

now, as you did. Meanwhile 

I say hello again 

to you, your well-known voice,

and all those memories.





Sharing with Poets and Storytellers United on 18  July '25, for Friday Writings #186: Survive Out of Spite. But I can't find any spite in me today, and there are other ways of surviving, such as in the memories of friends. (Dutch, being a celebrated muso – not top of the pops but with a devoted following in both Australia and Holland, and admired by the American bluesman Brownie McGhee who became his friend – also survives in his recordings and their appreciation by blues-lovers.) 




29 comments:

  1. "shared memories laid to rest. / As you were too, at last"... a poignant remembering... holding on to beautiful memories.. sigh.

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    Replies
    1. It's good to have the music still, albeit sparking mixed emotions.

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  2. There are certain pieces of music that seem glued to memories - of people, of times, happiness and sadness - you have conveyed that beautifully and tenderly here - Jae

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  3. Those were the days my friend
    We thought they'd never end . . .
    Been there too, before I ever married.
    I enjoyed your write again like I always do, from the start, from the name Dutch. My daughter's Blue Russian cat is named Dutch. He was a rescue cat, so very nice.
    I'll fit him in here just for you and the departed Dutch.

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  4. Reading this poem again and feeling it - even more... the "Hello Dutch" brought tears on a second reading.

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    1. He was Bill's friend more than mine – they were both Dutch-born, which was one bond – but mine too for many years. I see Wikipedia and other sites online speculating about unknown details of his personal life. I could tell them! But if he and others close to him didn't, I won't. It's about preserving the privacy of some who are left, as well as his own.

      And of course the music comes tangled up with so many occasions, public and private; a whole history of his family life and ours, all intertwined with his professional life since the beginning of his career. I can't think of my personal history without him turning up in it from time to time. I knew him since 1965; Bill knew him from quite a few years earlier than that.

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  5. A lovely gentle response to the prompt. Maybe some memories survive in spite of us too?

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes, that's certainly possible.

      And thanks for the kind words.

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  6. Your poem reminds me of how serious we could all be about relationships and friendships in our youth and how that changes over the years.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad it spoke to you, and gave rise to your own musings.

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  7. Cool that he survives in memories, good and bad but without spite!

    PK

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  8. Memories of happy moments tend to persist more than those of the bad times. It's always good to remember someone who has passed in those moments of joy and pleasantness. Good write, Rosemary!

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  9. I can imagine the thrumming of all those music filled meetings and the somber tinge of that last evening. Also good on you for holding on to some of the details and preserving his privacy.

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  10. I really enjoyed Dutch Tilders Blues. Thanks for this. I'm sure you have a lot of fun filled memories and I suspect our Rosemary may have been a bit of a wild gal in her younger years:)
    https://youtu.be/h4z3Q-X0Sqk?si=8fsw4QHXuuyovOdb
    Dutch Tilders performance.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, he was very good indeed! (I was perhaps not as wild as some of the people around me.)

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  11. What a poignant remembrance ... last month I lost my Aussie "pen pal since 2009" to cancer. Your Dutch and Bill would have SO enjoyed him. A novelist, poet, bass guitar player in the Daly-Wilson Band of long ago. He lived in Bateman's Bay at the time of his passing. We came close to meeting early on in our friendship, he had planned on traveling to the States .. but couldn't quite pull it off for a variety of reasons. We chatted often via Skype, video made the friendship so much more real. I was able to meet members of his family, he met two of my children as well. His eldest daughter invited me to the Celebration of his life a few weeks ago ... $$$ my stumbling block. I have two of his CDs with songs he wrote for children's' plays .. he is singing. I miss him. Your post inspired my comment and I thank you so very much.

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    1. But of course I remember the Daly-Wilson band! Which one was your friend? (Must have been John Helman.) He and Dutch may well have known each other. Aussie (professional) musos of those days, in all genres, tended to at least be acquainted

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    2. PS It was cancer took Dutch, too. At Bill's funeral he whispered, to me alone, his secret: 'Jack Dancer.' But he beat it and lived many years after that, before it finally returned.

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    3. His name ~ Stafford Ray. I remember him mentioning that Big Band however in re-thinking our 'conversations' it may have been in passing. I do know he played in orchestras for live TV shows for at least seven years. I am reading his last novel, published shortly before he passed: "Are We Planet B"

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    4. I looked him up on Google Books and found this:

      About the author (2016)
      Stafford Ray first studied Mechanical Engineering, and taught for a while in NSW Public Schools, before continuing his education by studying Science at Sydney University. Meanwhile he started a family and began to draw on his musical talents to become a session musician to supplement his income. Lucrative contracts followed, including work with several ABC-based bands and the Daly Wilson Big Band. The sudden onset of deafness in his 40s caused him to shift careers and move to the NSW Central Coast to become an asparagus farmer. Medical intervention restored most of his hearing and he is now back playing music as well as indulging in his new passion of writing novels.

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  12. The fact is we need to survive in "spite" of everything :)
    Great words.
    Happy that you have no spite :)

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  13. "The years are not so long,

    though long enough,

    since the world lost you."

    This made me think of all the people I have lost. I hope they are together doing what they loved best. Beautiful poem, Rosemary.

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