I asked my dear friend Phill, a digital artist, to create for me a sacred image which would signify, formally, a role I’d just been given. A man overseas invited me into a tradition of dragon magic with communities in various countries – meaning to honour me. I loved and admired him, and I already worked with dragons; I agreed. Each locality was designated a ‘tor.’ My tor would be named for the town where I live.
I asked the artist for a design suggesting our local mountain. Viewed from my location, it has a high, pointed summit on the left, then two humps descending to the right. I saw it shaping the word ‘Am,’ for Being. When he asked what colours I'd like, I chose green and purple, the colours of the Women’s Movement.
Phill put this image inside a sphere. He added – unasked, but perfectly inspired – a seven-pointed star in the background, symbol of the Faery realm, in a form that could be viewed as loosely woven fabric or gently radiating light.
The magical man’s dragon tradition grew warlike. It was metaphorical; even so, I rejected any such identification. The dragons I knew were benevolent. I couldn’t bring myself to establish a branch of his tradition here. I resigned. He saw this as betrayal.
He had overcome many challenges in those years, requiring a warrior’s mind-set, so I didn’t seek to change him but I wouldn’t join him. He cut off all communication with me.
The artist, my soul-brother, died: cancer, sudden and quick. From his hospital bed, at my request, and witnessed by his family, he gave me permission to save all his digital art to do whatever I like with. I don’t have particular plans for it; I just didn’t want it to be lost when his website lapsed.
Later, for reasons unconnected with any of that, I was one of a group of white Australians who received from a local Indigenous elder the freedom of this land, Githabul land. It includes the mountain.
sometimes at twilight
I look up at the mountain
and glimpse a dragon –
its shadowy back a swathe
along the darkening ridge
Written for Poets and Storytellers United at Friday Writings #120: A Touch of Formality
So sorry for your loss...How incredible that the mountains formed the word for you to design... and the gift of all the digital work... wow...
ReplyDeleteThank you. It all happened some time ago now. I miss both those men, whom I lost in different ways; and yes, there were also gains.
DeleteThis is heart wrenching especially when we are seen to betray someone. Life is short and sometimes very difficult - Great words in this .
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alan, for your understanding, and your kind words.
DeleteI understand the idea of embracing the warrior, when one is fighting cancer. You know I do the same, and it works for me. But my violence is only aimed at the disease, anything else wouldn't help me. And I doubt it helps anyone else. Violence, like any other physical emotion, requires a lot of discipline. It's hard to stay disciplined when one is in pain. Not if one hasn't done for one's entire life.
ReplyDeleteI feel the loss in your words, when you describe your reasons for walking away. That's never an easy thing to do. I'm glad you regain some of the closeness in the end, through his art.
Love the closing tanka, such powerful imagery.
Ah, I seem to have created cinfusion by not naming both these men. Yes, there are two I am writing about here. My dear Phill – musician, poet, digital artist and soul-brother – lived in Melbourne, Australia, not overseas, and we met up whenever I visited that city (where several of my relatives and old friends also live). His cancer was already absolutely terminal when diagnosed, so it would have been useless to fight; all he could do was surrender. I have other friends besides you who have gone into warriot mode against their own cancers, successfully, and I applaud them and you.
DeleteThe other (unnamed) man, also dear to me, I met when I visited his country;, and we remained friends for a number of years thereafter.
What a moving story. I have a poem somewhere about the Appalachian mountains here as the backs of buried dragons. I almost missed the star so I'm glad you mentioned it. It adds so much to the image.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to know you too 'see' dragons in your mountains.
DeleteIt is quite a thing to be entrusted like that.
ReplyDeleteIt surely is!
DeleteDear Rosemary, your beautifully composed, incredibly detailed haiben touched me deeply. Produced tears. Not many of them do. I love that you were able to reach his family prior to his passing that his art lives on. I would love to see more of it. Peace be with you, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteThere's quite a lot of it! I'll have to think seriously about what to do with it. He was multi-talented, and there's also quite a bit of his wonderful music and poetry online. I don't have the rights to do anything with that, but his lovely birth sister might be open to a converstaion about it.
DeleteWonderful story. I'm so impressed with your ability to love people and have them be drawn to you. It probably just feels natural to you but I don't think it is. I love that you didn't want your friend's work to be lost. You are a lovely person.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debi. My late father, my brother, and my Firstborn son all have some indefinable quality that makes them much loved by many. I think it comes from my paternal grandfather, whom I never met but have heard much about (and who knows whom before him). It's not exactly charisma, or charm – something quieter than that and quite unconscious. It is only in recent years that it has dawned on me that I have it too. We don't do it on purpose and don't know how we do it, but it is surely a very great blessing.
DeleteIndeed it is!
DeleteI'm not into dragons much but I do belong to one dragon group (community), World Dragon Day. The name is deceptive, check it out, your membership would be a blessing to those who participate more than I do. It is a public group with 1.3K members.
ReplyDeleteNo URL for you:
I cannot access my facebook on this laptop, only Mrs. Jim's will ever be logged in. When I do my login hers is logged instead. I shut it off, turn off the computer. Then sign back in and hers still comes up. I do my facebook stuff on my cell phone, but doesn't show URLs.
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Good on you for persevering despite the technical difficulties! Thanks for the suggestion but I think I am busy enough without joining another community.
DeleteInteresting. Especially, the shape of the mountains interwiven into your memories
ReplyDeleteThank you. To those of us who live here, it is a very special mountain.
DeleteLife is difficult. I love the way you wrote this. I'm thinking "Puff".
ReplyDeleteGotta love Puff!
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