The Way Opened
Below a pelt of thick, peaty soil
Below a pelt of thick, peaty soil
the smells of aromatic spices
mingle with oriental floral,
trees straining under the weight
of red and golden apples.
Nine mountains to the north, nine dragons
protect the island and vibrant harbour.
With the arrival of this thought
in the orange glow of the morning sun,
With the arrival of this thought
in the orange glow of the morning sun,
the departure of a hunger.
An erasure poem using lines from two pieces of fiction, The Chinese Way by Irene Tai and She Opened the Box by Rab Swannock Fulton, rearranged and intermingled.
Shared with Poets United's Poetry Pantry #432
Truly beautiful, Rosemary, especially envisioning the glow of the morning sun!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sherry. Your poem is calming and definitely peaceful! I like the idea of the departure of a hunger!
ReplyDeleteOh to measure distance or time in mountains... what a world that would be!
ReplyDeleteI love the aromas in the first stanza, Rosemary, and the 'trees straining under the weight / of red and golden apples'. My favourite lines have to be 'in the orange glow of the morning sun, / the departure of a hunger'.
ReplyDeleteWell this poem certainly filled the reader with many senses culminating with the freedom from hunger. How I wish that was true for so many millions on this bountiful Earth.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully blended - I can smell Christmas and the peace we all wish each other
ReplyDeleteWowww!💞 This is gorgeously intermingled, Rosemary! I love "the orange glow of the morning sun."
ReplyDeleteThis paints a vibrant picture. Makes me smile. Love the mountains as dragons.
ReplyDeleteAh well, there's the fatal flaw in this poem. To anyone in the know that would give it away that the poem is about Kowloon, Hong Kong. At least, part of it is. The other part is about somewhere different, unnamed – but although I've not been to HK, I feel sure they don't grow apples in Kowloon. See also my reply to Magical Mystical Teacher.
DeleteI love the nine mountains as dragons too.
ReplyDeleteSee my replies to colleen and Magical Mystical Teacher.
DeleteI loved this!!
ReplyDeleteThe lines dance so well together, most impressive after learning they are the children of different pieces. My favorite part is how the apples feed the ending.
ReplyDeleteIntroduce me to those nine dragons, please! I want to know their names!
ReplyDelete'The name Kowloon stems from the term Nine Dragons, alluding to eight mountains and a Chinese emperor: Kowloon Peak, Tung Shan, Tate's Cairn, Temple Hill, Unicorn Ridge, Lion Rock, Beacon Hill, Crow's Nest and Emperor Bing of Song' – Wikipedia. (See also my reply to colleen.)
DeleteExcellent! Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteThat last line! This is wonderful and vibrant!
ReplyDeleteBon appétit.
ReplyDeleteZQ
I wondered about those dragons protecting the mountains. But i understood from your note, this was an erasure poem. Charming write.
ReplyDeleteThank you for dropping by my sumie Sunday today
Much💜love
Love it! 'Nine mountains to the north, nine dragons … ' splendiferously visual.
ReplyDeleteA visual feast rich in imagery.
ReplyDeleteSo many phrases to like here, Rosemary — the pelt of thick, peaty soil, nine mountains north. A wonderful, faraway land. So lovely.
ReplyDeleteSuch vivid imagery! Bring those dragons a little closer, let's see!
ReplyDeleteI'm restricted to the actual words and phrases of the source material.
DeleteFolklore and history, intermixed to produce a very stunning poem, Rosemary. Although, never thought apples would have a place, in Chinese lore or history.
ReplyDeleteUm, poetic licence?
DeleteLol.
DeleteThank you Rosemary: you make it delightfully seamless.
ReplyDelete