Worried clocks carry the dream within my body,
my body defiant, disbelieving the dream –
the dream someone else’s possibility, ending you.
You ask that person: Be the mother that is under, a gift.
A gift! Accept!
Accept our life start, that is unavoidable –
unavoidably working towards wanting,
wanting a little window into connection, focus.
Focus on the fullness to be true; further open.
Further open a kind allow.
Allow whispering; process challenge.
Challenge this insight happening,
happening into the pleasure.
Pleasure sending sensations, wonder, tangled endings.
Tangled endings just beautiful vibrations.
Vibrations, harnessing, feel like the ocean –
the ocean to bring. Begin!
Begin with their beauty.
I wrote this for my own prompt, Weekly Scribblings #43: Found Poems and Erasures, at Poets and Storytellers United. I am quite good at other kinds of found poems, not so good at erasures, so I thought that's what I should try. Hmmm, perhaps not! I really don't think I have the knack. (But then, I admit I didn't spend a serious amount of time on it. I didn't even actually erase the text surrounding the words I chose.) I only got it to make some kind of almost-sense by repeating the one or two words at the end of every line as the beginning of the next line. Below are the source materials: pages from a give-away New Agey magazine which is basically advertising various practitioners. The first attempt didn't take me very far, so I turned to another page and did some more.
Interestingly enough, what this poem does is allow me a window into my own subconscious. Recently I've been thinking about my relationship with my mother – it was her birthday the other day – wishing it had been easier, closer. As a child, I thought her very beautiful but didn't find her warm and cuddly. I felt she was always trying to make me conform, be something I wasn't. I've come to think I may have misunderstood her, and wish I could go back and make it all different. I can find these threads in the poem, so one day I might, if I choose, rewrite it to be more readily understandable to others.
"working towards wanting,
ReplyDeletewanting a little window into connection"
That is so beautiful. And so sad that some people are not naturally drawn to those connections. It's great when they realize what is missing and do work towards that wanting though. I can only imagine your mother learning from her mother the coolness. Thank you for showing your process, as I am attempting my first erasure poem, and it is very, very short!
Thanks, Lisa.
DeleteNo, my dear Nana, my Mum's mother, was warm, cuddly and spontaneous. One thing that occurred was that Mum had me in the days when medical men forbade young mothers from breast-feeding on demand. So some natural binding failed to happen on both sides.
Ha, I meant 'natural bonding' – but 'binding' works too.
DeleteA inspired poem, Rosemary, and I understand why you pushed yourself to try an erasure – I prefer other kinds of found poems too. I not only enjoyed the poem, but also the background notes about you and your mother, which helped me to understand the poem better. I especially love the ‘worried clocks’ of the title and first line, and ‘wanting a little window into connection’, something I felt with my own mother.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realise my own theme until after I'd written this – but of course something was going on subconsciously to have me choose those particular words and phrases.
DeleteEach one of us are different. My brother and I couldn't get on yet an uncle of mine just three years older than me were very close for most of our lives even staying in contact until earlier this year when were still in Facebook contact from the other side of the world until his death at 87.
ReplyDeleteYes, family connections can be funny things. Good if any relative becomes also a friend, I think. My niece (daughter of my step-sister, no blood relation) and I are good pals, and have this little joke together: 'Water's thicker than blood.' But actually I'm thick with some of my blood rellies too.
DeleteWhat makes this so good is your illustrations of the extracted phrases you have used. I loved it!
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed!
DeleteThis technique isn't my strong suit either, Rosemary. I went much simpler. But your work, here, inspires me to pay more attention to the possibilities. Thanks for prompting.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. Glad you got something out of it.
DeleteBravo
ReplyDeleteAn excellent poem wrought
Stay safe
Much💛love
Thanks, Gillena; glad you think so.
DeleteYour words and thoughts prompted me to sit still right here at my desk and computer .... really give deep thought to my childhood, to the relationship with my mother and to my father. That was more than an hour ago, I am still pondering. What good writing is all about, thank you.
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you for telling me. But I think you must have needed my note as well to set you on that exploration. It encourages me to think it would be good to rewrite the poem with a bit more clarity (yet without sacrificing the fortuitous metaphors etc.).
DeleteI think that you got the most important thing one can get out of erasures: glimpses of what lurks inside. I've often noticed that I've skipped words/phrases that would read so very poetic, in favor of some that sound less so. But when I look at the source again, I noticed that the supposedly more poetic words would not have done the job... of seeing and showing what was there.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Magaly. An interesting observation, from the wisdom of your greater experience with this procedure. It encourages me not to give up on attempting erasures.
DeleteThis is really GREAT, Rosemary. You being the prompter had the monkey on your back to do a good job. You did just that. Thank you for circling everything. I started but bed time beckoned I did black our the kids' names already this morning and put up the picture sans student names.
ReplyDeleteLet's do this again sometime. I could on my own, of course.
..
You definitely could on your own! You're so good at it. I'm glad you had fun, and I'm glad you liked mine.
DeleteThis is marvelous, Rosemary. Such patience and skill to create your wonderful poem!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed reading it, Bev.
DeleteFound poetry can be tricky, but I think you conveyed a feeling of transformation and growth with the words you found.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I'm glad of that. I guess there is a sort of progression.
DeleteI really like this, Rosemary. I love the repetition of the end words.
ReplyDeleteOh good, thank you. I was pretty pleased with myself for thinking of that.
DeleteAn interesting poem but I think your comments about the relationship with your mother and that this poem captured elements of it - to go back and write THAT poem is what intrigues me. Exercises like this can lead to something really good!
ReplyDelete