I wonder if it counts as a secret? I’ve never told anyone before. On the other hand, to those who know me, it will come as no great surprise. (Though quite possibly shocking.)
What makes us keep something secret? This one, I confess, I regard as somewhat shameful. I fear that those who find out will think worse of me.
They might want me to change – for my own good. (It’s a secret of behaviour.) If I reveal it, they might EXPECT me to change, taking the revelation as a sign of contrition, a prelude to atonement.
But I have no intention of altering this horrifying habit. Defiantly I say – as my Dad used to (about many things) – ‘It amuses me and does no-one else any harm.’
Could a case be made that it does some harm to some others? Their sense of aesthetics … their peace of mind…? But I live alone with my little cat. She doesn’t object. It doesn’t affect her.
People may even expect guilt! I do have a little. But not enough, nowhere near enough, to make a change – not one of the magnitude this would be.
I had been going along unthinkingly, getting away with it because no-one was around to observe; not worrying, not questioning myself. Then I recommended a book to a friend.
I know this friend is a reader, a lover of books. Indeed, she's very well-read. I know, and she knows, she would love this particular book. But what she said was,
’Thanks. If I make time to read, I’ll try to remember.’
WHAT?
I know she has a lot happening: cooking, gardening, housework, some current home renovations, constantly helping out with young grandchildren, and supporting herself as a working artist. And she has health conditions which mean she needs a lot more rest than most. Where indeed could she make time to read?
And yet….
Well, we’re all different.
My guilty secret is: I never don’t make time to read.
It takes precedence. (It's a drug.) The housework gets left; I go without hours of sleep; I neglect my correspondence, my filing, my shopping, watering my plants….
The hard thing is to refrain from a book.
Written for Friday Writings #9: Telling Secrets at Poets and Storytellers United.
Totally agree... the world can wait if there is a good book to read... though, and I say this a little unhappily, that's true for Netflix too, thanks to the long lockdowns... and binge watching happens at the expense of reading time!!!
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I confess I am sometimes guilty of this too!
DeleteJust one more page, I swear.
ReplyDeleteFine work, Great prompt. Thanks.
You're welcome! I loved what you did with it.
DeleteTerribly disappointed...was expecting something totally outrageous:)
ReplyDeleteReading and Writing are solitary pursuits and suit poets
Oh Rall, sorry to disappoint. I did say in my post at P&SU that the emphasis was on little secrets. In fact I first wrote something (not outrageous but) really plumbing the depths – then couldn't bring myself to share it after all (and besides, it could use a lot more work) so I came up with this instead.
DeleteThis had such a build up, I had to discipline myself not to read ahead. I thought you might say you don't read. That is what might make me feel guilty.
ReplyDeleteOhhh! Now that's unthinkable!
DeleteI sometimes read way into the night...on a workday. ugh.
ReplyDeleteWow, a sinful monk! That makes me feel a little less wicked, lol.
DeleteWell Rosemary, I don't think it is really bad to not think highly of this person for being like that. If I were her I would have lied if it seemed the book wouldn't be to my taste. But better she could have tasted it a bit, see what you like to read and know you better still.
ReplyDeleteI promise for the bunch, we won't tell your secret, at least to your friend.
..
Whew! Thanks for that.
DeleteOK I was expecting a barrage of naughty haiku ... your secret will have to do! A great secret it is. Who cares about the mundane sort of pastimes like housework, just don't forget to feed Kitty.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, not a chance. She makes sure of that.
DeleteI must admit my guilty secret is TV has impacted my reading time!
ReplyDeleteShock! Horror! That's even worse.
DeleteHave a good wweekend
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Undoubtedly! (I have books.)
Deletei also have to confess... i read at work. don't tell my boss.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha, that comment flashed me back to a memory: 8-year-old me asked to read for a visiting school inspector – cos I was the best reader in the class – but paralysed by the fact that I'd be discovered reading a birthday-present book on my knee under the desk instead of what we were supposed to be looking at. Luckily the teacher twigged and just said calmly, 'Put your birthday book away and read from your primer.' Whew! So I did, and the inspector was duly impressed, and I didn't get into trouble. But of course this episode didn't cure me of reading surreptitiously, if need be, in all sorts of circumstances ever after.
DeleteI was expecting something like naughty haiku or such. Anyway, it's no more a secret anymore, it's all over the net now. 😁
ReplyDeletei can put down a book and go do other stuff, perhaps a discipline I picked up in the military. 🙁
Ah yes, I have observed that military life instils a great sense of discipline which lasts forever after. (I am woefully undisciplined, myself.)
DeleteI will confess that I love your secret. And I'm the same way, and I don't care if other people think it's a little shameful or that I should be doing something else. I would leave the cleaning for the next day, if not doing it allows me to read. Thank goodness, I haven't had that problem in a long time. Thank goodness for audiobooks! That way, I can have my cake, um... my book, I mean, and clean the bathroom too. I can't understand people who can not read. Like with writing, not reading would leave me a mess.
ReplyDeleteI love the structure of this piece, Rosemary--the pacing, the suspense--it kept me at the edge of the proverbial seat!
I'm so glad – and not at all surprised – to find you like-minded, dear Magaly!
DeleteI am not so fond of audiobooks (always think I would read it with different emphasis and expression, lol) but I do use them sometimes, e.g. when ironing. Not sure why I don't enjoy them more; I used to love listening to stories read on radio when I was young – maybe I just hanker to hear the Australian accent and speech patterns.
I think this sparked an essay in my head (or was it heart?) Thank you, Rosemary
ReplyDeleteThe past few months has been the most productive time for my reading for my own pleasure. I aim to keep it that way until my sight fails me.
You're welcome!
DeleteI am lucky in that, although my family understood, respected and indulged in reading for education, they put a much higher value on what they regarded as the truest and best reason: reading for pleasure.
Well there's a secret we share!
ReplyDelete*Grin.*
DeleteThis is a little secret and a not-so-little secret. I was recently at a writing workshop and that is a place where you cannot admit you aren't good about making time for reading, so I had to keep this to myself!
ReplyDeleteOh dear, the weight of other people's expectations! I'm sure that accounts for many secrets.
DeleteYes, certain things may be silly in others' eyes but we may feel embarrassed to disclose our secret.
ReplyDeleteIt's sometimes easier written down like this.
Delete*fistbump*
ReplyDeleteWe are Book People.
*fistbump back*. We are! (Only thing to be.)
Delete