I never paid much attention to it before, felt unaffected. This time, I’m strangely conscious of it, instinctively delaying important communications. Instead I’m inert, and in between escapist reading I seem to be doing some kind of life review, many scenes from the past arising in memory, spontaneously – and also playing out, with new conclusions, in dreams. Am I unconsciously expecting death? I’m 83, I know time must run out, but I feel alive enough.
immersing myself
in reading, in fantasy –
am I just lazy?
I check the finishing date (today) and find other details I never bothered to learn before.
It doesn’t always affect every sign. (Ah!) This time it particularly affects the fixed signs, which include mine. (Aha!) It can be a time of reflecting on the past, but only if something there is unresolved. (Hmm.) It is not necessarily a bad thing; it can be peaceful, useful, time out for recharging. (OK.)
dead loves awaken –
to be filed away at last
or fully revived?
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