[We are told: Contemporary Ghazals explore more subjects, are experimental with the 'what and where' of rhymes and refrains and don’t have a formal signature couplet. However, they do keep to single line couplets, pay attention to cadence and are associational.]
Ghazal of the Air Element
I introduce into our conversation
the subject of my death.
He decides to stop studying
and train as a nurse.
He asks where he can acquire
my poetry book.
His torch goes out; he gets lost
in the middle of a forest.
Walking through the bush
he blisters his toe.
Here at home I stub my toe and
burn my arm, which blisters.
Love oh love oh careless love …
all love is in this one.
My soul is crying and crying
the pain of my joy.
Oh darling, my darling
time doesn't stand still.
I sing on the wind and arrange
to meet you later.
I want that you should live
a fine life and strong.
(Written 2007)
This is SO INCREDIBLY LOVELY. Poignant, human, beautiful. I especially love "My soul is crying and crying the pain of my joy." WOW! You knocked this one out of the park.
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear Sherry. Perhaps it doesn't matter if it works as a ghazal, so long as it works as a poem. :)
DeleteI think it captures the way thoughts wander, which is what I've decided is the point of the ghazal. Each couplet is a piece of the puzzle and they are constantly rearranging themselves.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks. That is what I was trying for at the time.
Delete"Love oh love oh careless love …
ReplyDeleteall love is in this one." All else fades in comparison. Beautiful line within a beautiful poem.
Thank you!
DeleteI'm not sure about the idea of a ghazal without rhyme refrain or rhythm either, but this is successful as a poem, as Kerfe says, the fragments that connect is the spirit of the ghazal.
ReplyDeleteI like the contemporary take on the form. English just doesn't have the same lilt and rhythm as Persian.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I expect that's a problem with all translations, as well as with trying to adopt a form that very much belongs to its language of origin (e.g. haiku, also).
DeleteFabulous poetry, Rosemary, ghazal or not! A light take on a serious subject of passing the torch :)
ReplyDeleteI love how you let one thought leap from one couplet to the next tying it all together to a narrative...
ReplyDeleteInteresting how the subject of mortality takes our mind in so many directions! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI know little about the ghazal, aside from the handful of poems I've experimented with. But I do know that this is artistry.
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks!
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