Ageing: a Dialogue
The walk to the gate became harder.
If I eat this carrot, will it make me see you better?
The lake was flat and glassy, and full of cloud.
Autumn is so changeable, she said.
I wanted to go slowly but you turned it into a race.
The wind surrounds me in a startling embrace.
After the song was sung, and the music tidied away …
The ego is a fragile thing, they say.
Going on from there – oh, if only.
Star-crossed reflections, you and I.
This was arrived at by using my left-over lines and titles from the Poetic Bloomings Exercise in Poetic Thought. I noticed they could be arranged in rhyming (or half-rhyming) couplets, the ones still left over could be used as a title, and the whole thing almost makes sense. I think I could get away with calling it a contemporary ghazal!
Sharing at Poets United's Midweek Motif ~ Walk,/span>
We who with songs beguile your pilgrimage /
And swear that Beauty lives though lilies die, /
We Poets of the proud old lineage /
Who sing to find your hearts, we know not why ...
(James Elroy Flecker)
Well, this is a very intriguing poem. I love the way you created it from "leftover lines". If I had leftover lines like these, I'd be feeling pretty pumped, lol. I love it. It is quirky, and I love quirky. I am going to check out that exercise.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you find it quirky! I love quirky too. (Smile.)
DeleteReally like this and it does hold together. Annell has been doing something very similar and calls it abstract poetry. I'm clearly drawn to it, and find the abstract deeply appealing.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Oh thank you, I'll check out Annell's. I too love the abstract in art.
DeleteWhat a gorgeous Quasi-ghazal this is, Rosemary!💖 I love how you compare the walking experience to that of Autumn .. very deep and philosophical! 😊
ReplyDeleteHa ha, not really – but I'm glad it seems so.
DeleteLeft over lines certainly suit this old fool. I suppose the whole point is to appreciate the beauty of words, which is what we are doing all the time by writing and commenting on poetry every day.
ReplyDeleteYou may be old my friend, but no fool – except perhaps being 'foolish' as in having fun, being playful. Yes, I think you are quite right that we are engaged in appreciating (and playing with) the beauty of words. An excellent occupation!
DeleteThank you for showing this new path to poetry writing, Rosemary. Love how the lines fit and radiate new meanings! Wow!
ReplyDeleteI think it's what's called a fluke, or maybe opportunistic. But I must say it was fun!
Deletewow from left over lines? That worked out really well Loved it
ReplyDeletethe zen of a ghaza - well-spotted Rosemary - the couplets are tied together intriguingly
ReplyDeleteHow innovative, the contemporary ghazal! I smiled at your exceptional talent of not wasting words, and using left-over lines. The whole thing doesn't only make sense, but it's beautifully put.
ReplyDeleteImmaculate! Didn't know that some "left over" lines cold also create such gem of a composition. Beautifully done...Rosemary!!
ReplyDeleteWalking slowly is an art that few seem to master.
ReplyDeleteApparently leftover lines are of great value. Love this, Rosemary!
ReplyDelete