The Now Body
My body startles me
now in my ageing —
conditions acquired now
will not now depart.
Too late for prevention now
means too late now for cure.
Some things won’t leave me now
whatever I may do.
I thought I had all the time
in the world. Or at least time enough.
But all we really have is now:
a repeated, relentless now.
It’s not good enough
that I took all those walks
when younger, or swam so often
only a few years ago.
Now if I sit too long
I rise with sudden pain
which eases only when and if
I keep moving around.
At night it’s hard to sleep,
hard to get comfortable, even
in my fine new bed, until finally,
near daybreak, exhaustion wins.
But if I choose to lie down
in the afternoon, not only
does my cat come quick to join me,
sleep does too — how very sneaky.
‘Move your body!’ says my body.
‘Do some long, slow stretches!’
and, ‘Rest between times. Take naps!
Practise your deep breathing!’
Resolved, I rise from the computer
to start preparing my lunch. The crunch —
salad, eggs, or two more shortbread biscuits?
I hate having to decide, and act, right now.
Written in response to Magaly's prompt: "Take Care of your body" in Weekly Scribblings #85 at Poets and Storytellers United.
two more shortbread biscuits is what you had plus the mars bar and chocolate cake you have hidden in the fridge and are not telling us about :)
ReplyDeleteSsshhh!
DeleteSleep can be a sneaky little fiend, indeed. I, too, now suffer of the can't-fall-sleep-at-night troubles, but the moment I slowdown during the day my eyes want to close--what a drag! Maybe we need to become owls.
ReplyDeleteFrustrating, isn't it?
Delete" . . . conditions acquired now . . . " will not now depart, Haha. I have added to my middle, I say it runs in the male generations of my family. My father's left him, he lived to 97. But none of the others. I have lost eight pounds since COVID-19 but none from my middle. I do have a trick for you, I used my cane still when I get up in the middle of the night as then I am not very steady on my feet or want to head in the right direction. It steadies me, my Physical Therapist Rehab lady said I should use it all the time to keep me from falling. I guess I scared here.
ReplyDeleteLove this poem, I should adopt it for me. The cat has died, as the dog, and I ran instead of walking, though I am supposed to walk 30 minutes five days a week.
..
My doc says I am not at risk of falling, as the problem is not structural. I find a cane doesn't help it. Some quick, easy on-the-spot exercises do. Fortunately I am not unsteady. Congratulations on losing eight pounds, wherever from!
DeleteI'm decent-ish about getting sleep, but all it takes is a little emotional upset and I'm up later than I care to be. LOL, at least I can sleep in a bit more the morning after since I don't have to deal with a commute.
ReplyDeleteWell there is that!
DeleteMy little cat has learned to be very patient with me in the mornings, not demanding food until I finish the sleep-in. (I guess she has enough sense not to waste her energy.)
I love the line "All we have is now, a repeated relentless now". I recognize many of these conditions in my mother, and it is so painful watching her try to regain her strength. I wish you a life of comfort and ease ❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you, Naledi!
DeleteI identify with much of this, Rosemary! Great poem!
ReplyDeleteI also found much to identify with when I read yours.
DeleteI commiserate… especially when it comes to my fingers with minds of their own ,,, arthritis is such a bore! I am sad to learn that sleep does not come easy for you ~~~ I have friends who are the same and have found CBD to be helpful. I don’t know if you have access to it Down Under. This aging thing sure is an adventure, not entirely pleasurable.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Helen.
DeleteIndeed, the arthritis in the fingers (fairly new to me, this last year) is very irritating. The arthritis in my right hip flexor joint even more so!
Yes, CBD is available here, though I've never had occasion to try it. I'll talk to my pharmacist (who is also a herbalist and naturopath) about the possibilities of that and also various supplements that have been suggested recently.
At night it’s hard to sleep,
ReplyDeletehard to get comfortable, even
in my fine new bed, until finally,
near daybreak, exhaustion wins
The above is so true, Rosemary! Why we get something opposite to what is desired? The now seems to be more of anticipating and waiting when age catches up. 'What will happen next?' will always occupy our mind unlike before. We were left alone before. That is progress, age wise!
Hank
Thanks, Hank, for sharing your thoughts.
DeleteI always wonder which body part is going to fail me next. Love
ReplyDeleteshortbread! Not sleeping is awful, but afternoon naps can help.
Sounds like you understand perfectly!
Delete