[Not a poem; a reflection.]
Someone told me: ‘I feel I’ve wasted my life.’ I was shocked, because I don’t see her like that at all. So I thought about what would make a life wasted, and what would mean it wasn’t wasted. I don’t think it necessarily has anything to do with our achievements or our success in the world (although in my eyes my friend has plenty of both – but she doesn't always see it). Instead it seems clear to me that :
Your life is not wasted if:
you have enjoyed its various pleasures
e.g. tasty food, the beauties of nature,
singing and dancing, passionate sex …
you have given kindness to someone
you have smiled at someone
you have loved someone
you have cared for an animal
you have taught someone something useful
you have laughed
you have been moved to tears
you have gasped in wonder
you have seen a rainbow
you have read books which you treasure
you have had a friend.
A piece of prose this time, which I had occasion to write and feel is worth sharing. For Friday Writings #189: The Most Important Step, at Poets and Storytellers United, we are asked to write about what we think is the most important step a person can take. Although not written to the prompt, I think this answers it obliquely. Sometimes a simple realisation is a vitally important step!
If I'm not reminding myself about all the things I've done then I sometimes feel this way too. It's usually a fleeting thought and could also mean that there is still opportunity to add more meaning to one's life with what is left.
ReplyDeleteGood point!
DeleteOh what a delight also to discover that I have done all these things They are indeed treasures
ReplyDeleteHaving just read your own piece, I think you and I have similar ideas as to what's important.
DeleteNothing is wasted. It simply is. Small is beautiful (I read a book with that title once).
ReplyDeleteI agree!
Deletel love your list. Whose measuring stick do some folks use when speaking of a wasted life? Often we think of the successes and possessions we never had, and the personal challenges we never took.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's true.
DeleteI guess that when we evaluate our life and find it lacking, we tend to look at all the things we DIDN'T do, or achieve, or get credit for, and ignore all the beautiful things that we DID do, and which your wonderful list enumerates, Rosemary. It's the same as yearning for what we want and don't have, rather than being grateful for all the things we have...
ReplyDeleteI guess it's human to do a bit of both at different times.
DeleteHow wonderful - it is hard to pick the most important gift from your list - they all make for a life well spent when enjoying the seemingly little wonders - Jae
ReplyDeleteThe 'seemingly little wonders' – exactly!
DeleteWe are so conditioned to being " successful " we place our self value and the value of others by this criterion. Your poem lists the real things that count in a life. Agree.
ReplyDeleteSomehow, I'm not at all surprised that you do. (Smile.)
DeleteI've done every one of these. After this one feels used and useless. Been to 82 or more countries, all fifty of our USAs, and every place I'd like to go except Greenland and touching the South Pole. Now I sit and watch the four walls for inspiration.
DeleteI have done a lot of them too, much more than once – and now that age and infirmity put some out of bounds, I still relish the memories. Also, many of these pleasures can be enjoyed even in old age and declining fitness: friends, music, books, whatever of the natural world may be nearby...
DeleteThank you. I needed that right now. Recently I've been thinking I've wasted mine. Think on the things I've done, not what I didn't do.
DeleteDear Lisa, Thank you so much. I'm glad I interrupted your defeatist thinking (which we all suffer from, from time to time) – and isn't it always wonderful to know that one of our writings has had a direct impact!
DeleteI have lived your list! Glad to know my time was not wasted.
DeleteThanks, Sara – but I suspect you knew already!
Delete+
ReplyDeleteThat list is so so right... the kindness and the caring and the loving and the teaching...and I wish I knew how to appreciate each of the items in it more and ignore the "and yet" screaming in my head!! Sigh.
[I'm sure you didn't intend that long space in your comment, but I am unable to remove it.]
DeleteI wonder, what is the 'and yet'? I think it's OK to have ambition too, and a dispassionate assessment of one's progress so far. I just want to refute the idea that not having achieved all of one's goals yet equates to having wasted one's life. A wise teacher once told m, 'If you want to know how you show up in the world, don't ask the inside of your head; it will lie to you. Ask out there' – with a wide sweep of his arm to indicate the rest of the world. I thought my friend was listening much too hard to the inside of her own head.
OMG, wonder what I did to create that white space!! I like the idea of not asking the inside of my head (I do too much of that)!! I hope the outside world is kinder than I am to myself!
DeleteRosemary, I like this in a weird way because I have done all these and even more. So I feel appreciated and not needed anymore. I am old old and maybe not needed now. There is one thing I have been doing and felt needed. I am a deacon in our very large church with two Sunday services. Since in walking with a cane they are afraid I would even drop the collection. We have started something new to us, the deacons coming at 8:15 and praying for the preacher.
ReplyDeleteBut only five come to do that regularly.
It's 4:30 Saturday and woke up feeling down. Even that old textu that I didn't post before is a real dude, I wouldn't write that or like that anymore. Guess I pouted on you, I'm sorry for doing that.
No-one is ever completely indispensable. I like this quite (don't know where it's from): 'Spirit wants only that there be flying. As to who does it, that is immaterial.' If there is a need, the Universe will find and use the person who can fill it. If I'm handy and meet the criteria, it might well be me; if not it will be someone else. No matter, so long as the need is met. But although we are not indispensable, there are people who need us as long as we are here. An afterwards, no doubt we'll be needed wherever we go. I'm a psychic medium; I don't just believe, I KNOW from experience doing that work, that we do continue after the death of the physical body. As to the details of that, I'm not real clear – but I know some do come to the assistance of their loved ones still here, when needed. I know you have had a full life and I'm glad for you. I selfishly hope for my own sake that I'll have the pleasure of our long online friendship a while longer yet. (And a small pout is nothing between friends.) I also hope that when you do go, as we all must eventually, it will be easy and peaceful and you'll feel ready.
DeleteI've done most of these things, but at 60 in a family with a life expectancy of 90 I feel as if I need to do most of them several times more! Good list.
ReplyDeletePK
I don't think there's any reason we shouldn't do them as often as possible!
Delete