We who with songs beguile your pilgrimage / And swear that Beauty lives though lilies die, / We Poets of the proud old lineage / Who sing to find your hearts, we know not why ... (James Elroy Flecker)

6.10.21

Responses

Responses 


In the final lesson (lesson 6) of Write Like Issa, David Lanoue invites us to respond 'in kind' to specific haiku by Issa – answering them with our own, either in imitation or contrast. This is an honourable haiku tradition; Issa himself responded so to some of Basho's haiku. Below, Issa's originals are in italics. My responses are drawn also from my own lived experience.



the child hugs 

her cloth monkey . . . 

hailstorm


summer storm –

crouching

with my cat


*********


without you— 

this grove 

is just a grove


(1)

noisy bats gone –

the grove is again 

peaceful


(2)

meditation complete –

sudden kookaburras

laugh in the grove


*********


spring rain— 

in my lover’s sleeve 

coins jingle


spring rain –

my wallet

empty


*********


into morning glories

with one shoulder bare….

holy man


walked past unseeing 

weeds by the road –

morning glories

















Sharing with Writers' Pantry #91 at Poets and Storytellers United.


14 comments:

  1. I do love your responses to them all! I think the one that got to me most, or surprised me was "my wallet empty"! I wasn't expecting that. I can relate to crouching with a pet during a storm. My dog now is afraid of wind. Not a wind storm, just regular wind! I have to sit and watch tv and hold him.

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  2. Write Like Issa sounds like a wonderful exercise. I enjoyed reading your responses. The spring rain piece offers a brilliant and unexpected twist.

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  3. These are all great responses to Issa's poetry.
    i really like the one with the laughing kookaburras. this is in contrast to the seemingly silent grove in Issa's poem.
    i think this is a good workshop practice. Maybe i should go & try some. :)

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  4. The meditation one made me smile, because that's how things go around here when I meditate, except with children not kookaburas.

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  5. I love the jingle of coins in the lover's sleeves. These are all lovely.

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  6. What a marvelous exercise, Rosemary, and All of your responses are wonderful. I esp like the cloth monkey / cat pairing.

    I wrote a response/reaction to Basho's (most famous?) frog/kerplunk haiku a while back and - though it's not actually a perfect haiku - it garnered publication in Plum Tree Tavern. I thought you might enjoy it: https://eggsovertokyo.blogspot.com/2019/09/what-basho-knows.html

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  7. This is a wonderful conversation you are having with Issa. I hope you continue.

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    Replies
    1. I have now finished the lessons in the little book I was working from, but think and hope I have learnt a lot. It would be good to revisit this practice of responding to haiku by Issa – or others.

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  8. Bravo!!! You served up some excellent one
    Happy Sunday

    Much💜love

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  9. I like them all, but the spring rain one is my favorite. I enjoy how the response emphasizes the silence, while the original carries a jingle.

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  10. Thank you! Your responses are perfection and I am inspired to attempt(answers in the honorable haiku tradition.)

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  11. It is quite interesting to read your responses, since they both echo and contrast with the originals.

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