For the (fictional) series, “Edges”
His Voice
Failure of the Revolution
His Voice
Failure of the Revolution
In the violent days,
the final days,
everything went flying away fast.
Hope was too high to reach,
too shiny.
When my brother and I were accused: “Liar!”
it turned us shy ever after.
But the truly benighted
were those in the heirarchy
who permitted that slight.
I'm just letting this series of "persona poems" take me wherever, not finding anything out until it appears on the page (or actually, screen). But I am starting to get the feeling that this mysterious person – beachcomber, ex-seafarer, and now one-time revolutionary – might be male. And quite on the gloomy side!
Later: As time went on it became clear there were two "voices", one male, one female. I have now labelled the poems accordingly. (And yes, as you see, this is the man.)
Linking to Poets United's Poetry Pantry #402
Later: As time went on it became clear there were two "voices", one male, one female. I have now labelled the poems accordingly. (And yes, as you see, this is the man.)
Linking to Poets United's Poetry Pantry #402
yes he is feeling male to me
ReplyDeleteI relate to this poem, especially "Hope was too high to reach", which reminds me of the 60's and 70's, when we thought we would change the world - till they assassinated all our heroes. However, hope is rising again with the young people of today who are demanding a better world.
ReplyDeleteFascinating how you figured out that there were two voices..two totally different streams of thought and that one was male and another female.. so much to think about what I keep thinking about!!!!
ReplyDeleteWell the heirarchy have no desire for change they will only do so when it becomes too hot to sit down then they will pass the seat to someone else.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me these personae already have lives of their own, Rosemary! I like the ambiguity of the time in which the story takes place - it could be way back in history or it could be a dystopia in the future, which I gather from the lines:
ReplyDelete'In the violent days,
the final days,
everything went flying away fast'.
I love 'Hope was too high to reach, too shiny'.
'Hope was too high to reach, too shiny'.. sigh this alone speaks volumes!
ReplyDeleteI am intrigued by the events hinted at in this piece. And though I am not old enough to remember the 60's, I have been very moved by reading about the events of that tumultuous time and am glad to see some of that spirit rising again in the youth.
ReplyDeleteActually this seems quite a fascinating series, Rosemary. I like how it is unfolding. I identify with 'everything went flying away fast.' Seems like the last year here in the USA.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful write - I was especially struck by the first two lines of the second stanza.
ReplyDeleteYes, it seems male to me.
ReplyDeletei loved how these tales are unfolding. also, those last three lines, how true it can be.
ReplyDeleteI especially like the ending:
ReplyDelete"But the truly benighted
were those in the heirarchy
who permitted that slight."
I'm always amazed by how stories can catch us in so brief a space. I enjoyed this and look forward to the next piece of it.
ReplyDeleteDone wrong. The brother and me too.
ReplyDelete"Hope was too high to reach,
ReplyDeletetoo shiny."
Brilliant expression
Much 🌼love
This male stranger sure has a tale to tell....I await more!
ReplyDeleteFascinating how this is turning out!
ReplyDeleteA wonderful write.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the 60's. The hope to high to reach and yet we continued to reach, in spite of assassinations. We continue to reach for the high hopes.
ReplyDeleteWhat an intriguing series. I love the idea of leaving ourselves behind, for a bit, and taking our words in a completely different direction. ' Hope was too high to reach,
ReplyDeletetoo shiny' ... that is so often the way hope, it seems.
Hmmmm......
ReplyDeleteZQ
A wonderful ongoing series. I can’t wait to see where it takes you. I hope you get a chapbook out of your persona poems.
ReplyDeleteI like this, and yes it comes across as a male voice, I have to agree with others that it is quite intriguing.
ReplyDeleteSad to be accused. Why branded 'Liar'. Karma will get to those who do so & are unfair...
ReplyDelete