For the (fictional) series "Edges"
Narrator's voice
Washed Up
Narrator's voice
Washed Up
They share a story, these two,
who were lovers briefly, once,
and since then have travelled far.
Where they have been, what done,
they cannot know of each other –
it's been so long. But sometimes,
when she combs her hair, does she
remember him running his fingers
through it, and under its fall on her neck,
before drawing her face gently to his?
Of course she does! And prays
to Mother Mary that he is well,
wherever in the world he may be.
As he too, staring out at the sea,
doing his own remembering, fervently
wishes that she may be happy
somewhere (sigh). A foghorn blares
across the bay. He startles
out of that old dream, shivering,
and puts the memories away.
They see themselves, each of them,
as old and wise – poor scared children
breathing, separately, the rarefied air
of their refuges along this lonely shore.
He plays guitar. It's more immediate
than the piano he learned as a boy.
As for her, when she wants to tear a hole
in present reality, to find her own soul,
she sketches tiny pictures with charcoal –
a leaf, a gauzy dragonfly, a quick fairy....
Linking to Poets United's Midweek Motif ~ Treasure, on the basis that the poem speaks of these characters' treasured memories.
Linking to Poets United's Midweek Motif ~ Treasure, on the basis that the poem speaks of these characters' treasured memories.
Well, this narrator might very well be me, and my old lost love. So i loved it!
ReplyDeleteGlad you loved it!
DeleteI didn't mean the narrator to be one of the characters, but rather the omniscient observer. I felt I needed to stand outside the characters a bit, for once, to explain them a little more clearly.
Oh yes, I see now, I love that omniscient observer! She is wise.
DeleteWhat is so sad is that their love is left unfulfilled leaving them to contemplate the" what ifs" and "whatevers" of their lives. I have a comfortable relation with my first girlfriend from more that 60 years ago who lives on the other side of the world. It is good to chat about everything under the sun as both our partners have died and now that our paths have crossed again it is a bonus: a feeling that we never parted.
ReplyDeleteThat does sound very nice!
DeleteThe poem has such beautiful story elements. Wonderful character sketch here.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's a wonderful character sketch. My favourite lines are:
ReplyDelete'...when she wants to tear a hole
in present reality, to find her own soul,
she sketches tiny pictures with charcoal –
a leaf, a gauzy dragonfly, a quick fairy....'
Oh, I/'m glad. Thank you. They were the most difficult!
DeleteWow! Totally compelling! And I like the faith of it, that each remembers through the veil of present reality, but has different techniques for the rising feelings. I put myself into the picture.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great compliment; thank you.
Deleteok this whole story is breaking my heart haha im serious, its sooo sad.
ReplyDeleteYou tell such a lovely story. I think I discreetly treasure memories of that first love. Please don't tell my husband.
ReplyDeleteI expect that many of us have one we still secretly treasure (even while knowing it wouldn't have worked).
Deletethis piece I can definitely relate to... brought back some memories from the past
ReplyDeleteI hope, more sweet than bitter.
DeleteVery good indeed Rosemary ... beautifully expressed (comme d'habitude) :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Peter.
DeletePerfect portraits of two older souls. They feel real enough to be able to see them.
ReplyDeleteI think this happens more often that we like to say. Old memories return when least expected. I am grateful for those that don't come any more. Wish I could erase them, like the blackboard at school.
ReplyDeleteA nice classical aspect in this love story. Nice poem
ReplyDeleteEASTER BLESSINGS
much love...