At sundown
we watch the sun erupt in a last fierce blaze, before the gentle dark enfolds us peacefully all night long.
shutting night outside I embrace your light
A 'one-bun' for Sundown in the Summer Love series at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. A one-bun is an ultra-short haibun with one line of prose (including title) and a one-line haiku, invented by Jim Kacian.
lovely!
ReplyDeleteWhew! Beautifully succinctly sensual!
ReplyDeleteVery lovely......forms i had not heard of.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this "one-bun" you speak of, and why haven't I been gifted it with this knowledge before!? I've always wanted to keep a reading journal--something short and delicious to spill my entire reading experience into--this feels like the yummiest way to go about it.
ReplyDeleteNow that I'm breathing again, the poem: the prose creates the perfect setting. It tells us so much about speaker and subject. Then, the closing line makes that setting and knowing so much brighter (and complete).
Sherry and Magaly, I had not heard of this delightful new approach to the haibun either, until I read of it at Carpe Diem. It was lovely to play with!
ReplyDeleteI shall give it a go!
DeleteOh, this form would be so perfect for you ... and you for it. :)
DeleteLess is definitely more in this piece - illuminating!
ReplyDeleteSomething about this shines absolutely in darkness -- like a full moon ...
ReplyDeleteBLAMMO!!! I gotta give this a try!!!
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ReplyDeleteI really must try this form. I love how you wrapped the darkness and light in one sentence.
This form is absolutely delightful, Rosemary!❤️ You have said so much in such few words! I must try this out too!😍😍
ReplyDeleteWonderful! Draws one right in.
ReplyDeleteI want to know more about how to do that!
ReplyDeleteLucky are those who can embrace another's light after the sun goes down. 'One bun' made me laugh reminding me of childhood of going to the bakery and being told we could all pick one bun seeing an array of possibilities and one was never enough!
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of this form and I think light comes in many forms as well. Sounds like the evening offers promises.
ReplyDeleteso comforting!
ReplyDeleteTaking brevity to new levels! I must give this a shot!!
ReplyDeleteoh, i think i will take to this form like a fish to water. :)
ReplyDeleteone question, can that 1 line prose be a really, really long line (a long sentence)? but i really think a short line fits more into the scheme of the form.
oh yes, i like your poem too, i like the space between the prose and the one-line haiku (is this intentional)?
I don't know the answer to your first question! But I agree that too long a sentence would subvert the form. Yes, the space was intentional, to make a clear separation between the two parts of the haibun.
DeleteYes, this form would suit you too, with your mastery of the brief and succinct.
Beautiful scenario, love the new forms.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful … this is just so full-to-bursting with passion and life. What a wonderful form!
ReplyDeleteSunsets and sunrises, are very good subjects to work with. Thank you for creating this, Rosemary
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