We who with songs beguile your pilgrimage / And swear that Beauty lives though lilies die, / We Poets of the proud old lineage / Who sing to find your hearts, we know not why ... (James Elroy Flecker)

27.3.21

That Birthday

That Birthday


Again that birthday sneaks under my guard

and suddenly I’m thinking of my son –

my youngest son – and now again it’s hard 

resisting recollection. Once the sun

beamed in his youthful smile but now the man 

is a door closed, the child mere memory. 

His birthday’s coming. Will he think of me?

Just born, he lay naked in the crook of my arm,

gazing at his new world confidently.

Neither of us guessed its power for harm.




Sharing with Writers' Pantry #63 at Poets and Storytellers United.


23 comments:

  1. This is a difficult one. I want to feel happy because birthdays should always be celebrated--new life, and the celebration of it, is a gift. But there tone holds so much apprehension. And that ending... Oh, that ending! How it squeezes the heart.

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  2. Your poem brought a lump to my throat, Rosemary. I’m glad you shared it. These lines are particularly potent:
    ‘…now the man
    is a door closed, the child mere memory’
    and
    ‘Just born, he lay naked in the crook of my arm,
    gazing at his new world confidently.
    Neither of us guessed its power for harm.’

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  3. Sadly we must let our children make their own decisions in life even though their choices often hurt. We may try to get them on the right course but once they're adults they are on their own.

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  4. OMG this is gorgeous
    Happy Birthday to your son (that is if you are writing in the present day)

    (✿◠‿◠)
    much love

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  5. Oh this is a heartbreaker, Rosemary. *hugs* It's like he's a ghost while he's still living.

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  6. yes, it's a difficult one. it calls for a celebration, but the tone of the poem says 'don't bother'.
    an honest and powerful write. i know, i still have such poems in the hard drive, hesitant to hit the 'publish' button.

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    Replies
    1. They demand expression – but whether to communicate them to anyone else is a very personal decision.

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  7. I've never second-guessed my decision to remain childless (I prefer to say "child-free"), but poems like yours, here, remind me that there are both positives and negs.
    A phenomenal write .

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  8. This one stings. It's almost universal in degree, so relatable but not usually expressed. Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. It took me a long time to feel able to express it!

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  9. Your words touch my heart. Fractured families are so incredibly sad. I hope the telling was a bit cathartic, but I well know the pain in a mother's heart will never be gone when communication is lost. I'm sending warm thoughts your way!

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    Replies
    1. It's old history really, Bev. Mostly I have let go of it – but of course it's there deep down and can be triggered at this time of year.

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  10. Dear Rosemary, my heart aches for you as I cannot imagine that pain. Though I have not always deserved unconditional love and respect from my offspring, today I am blessed to feel it ... you still have time dear one.

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    Replies
    1. I am very blessed with the warm love of my other children!

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  11. This world can do much harm to us, yes, but it can also do much good. May he child who lay in your arms long ago find good flowing his way. Always. Even despite the inevitable setbacks.

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  12. I read this as if it was my mother writing to me. It hits the heart too closely and I hope for you and your son better days ahead.

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