Poetry Month, day 28
At "imaginary garden with real toads" the prompt is: Fashion Me Your Words to FOLD, in which we are asked to use the fold form (invented by Gillena Cox) to write about destructive weapons. The fold must also always include something about nature and its effect on the poet.
Watching TV on a Wet Night
Now it’s falling, the steady rain
we’ve needed here: a strangely hushed sound
beyond my wall and window-pane,
as if it whispers to the dark garden.
Now it’s falling, the steady rain
of death, there, on the targeted city.
The silent chemicals don’t even whisper, but pain
soon has the survivors crying, screaming.
On yelling parents’ faces, despair is plain.
Pale, shocked faces of children stare blankly,
then recede from the screen.... In the background, steady rain.
Great minds - you and me. Love yours :)...It's a seriously sad topic though. I can't even imagine what it must be like for these people.
ReplyDeleteThis is incredibly potent! I like how you associate rain with horror and crime in the targeted city. *shudders*
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of war, but crime is a valid interpretation too – those chemicals might be dangerous drugs, I see.
DeleteI never have and never will understand what makes us such a savage race,
ReplyDeleteI like how you've woven "the steady rain" into the catastrophe of war. Empathic to those suffering.
ReplyDeleteYes! to your Fold today Rosemary. The anguish, the horror-all of which result from dedtructive weapons and the background rain contemplation. Good job
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing today
Much🌼love
Oh the contrasts between what we see on the TV and the comfort of our home.. of on rain and the other... we are so blessed with clean rain.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed, a very powerful poem, contrast of silent rain, with silent death, on targeted city.
ReplyDeleteRosemary, yes I get what you were saying in the comment you left at my blog. The whole line repeated at 5 is not necessary, yet not incorrect. What is important more so is the end rhyme PHRASE
ReplyDeleteTHANKS FOR YOUR WRITE TODAY
much love...
Thanks for the clarification. Had I not misunderstood, I'd probably have written something slightly different at line 5. Yet on this occasion I think the full repetition is effective, so I'm happy to leave it. Just another option when using the fold (smile).
DeleteI've just looked back over the previous four folds I've written, and I see that in the first two I repeated only the end phrase in line 5, and in the second two (a sequence to create a longer poem) I repeated the whole line – so that must be when I got the wrong (yet not entirely wrong, just limited) idea. Either way, it's certainly a very useful form with lots of possibilities.
DeleteA powerful poem, Rosemary. I love the contrasts of the comfort and safety inside, and the danger outside, elsewhere in the world, which we experience only through the TV.
ReplyDeletewell done with the form and playing with the contrasts - of being safe one minute, worlds away, then to see it unfolding .... I can't imagine the horrors of living in places where war is as "natural" as air or more so than water.
ReplyDeleteThe steady rain was a perfect way to accentuate the horrors happening in our world.
ReplyDelete