When the stars are somewhere behind the moodiness of the clouds
When I wake suddenly from sleep into deep darkness,
the drawn curtains admitting no glimpse of light
(stars and moon both covered over) for a moment I hope –
'Are you beside me here, was it all a bad dream, are you
somewhere close where I can touch you?' as I reach out. But,
behind the quick joy, the irrational leap in the chest, there come
the cold whispers of truth, shedding a light not of stars – voicing
moodiness, fear, despair, gradually insisting on the hard fact
of loss, of absence, telling me: Your hands in the dark will find only
the illusion of a body in lumpy blankets ... a lie ... an emptiness.
Clouds are not more evanescent than these false, glorious moments.
The title is a phrase written by Sanaa Rizvi. The poem is a word acrostic, each line beginning with a word from this title.
Written for day 3 of Poems in April at 'imaginary garden with real toads': Late night conversations with the Muse.
What an exacting form and so well done. I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, have suffered these
ReplyDeletenights and my thoughts are with you. Your poem is beautiful though so sad,,,
I am especially drawn to the closing:
ReplyDelete"Your hands in the dark will find only
the illusion of a body in lumpy blankets ... a lie ... an emptiness.
Clouds are not more evanescent than these false, glorious moments."
Oh gosh this is incredibly raw, emotive and heart-wrenchingly beautiful, Rosemary!❤️ Actually, the phrase came to mind while I was making the prompt for Poems in April. It later served as a springboard for my poem. Yours is a lot more accomplished than mine. Thank you so much for writing to the prompt.❤️
ReplyDeleteAh, let's not have invidious comparisons. Your poem is very beautiful, Sanaa, and you have a gift for gorgeous use of language. I was thinking as I wrote mine that I was disappointed I couldn't get it to measure up to the musicality of the source phrase ... but ah, let's not have invidious comparisons! :)
Delete"Clouds are not more evanescent than these false, glorious moments."
ReplyDeleteOh, this is so moving — that emptiness and its grief are potent in your words.
What a wonderful poem, inspired by Sanaa's phrase. That moment of awakening, before we remember who is missing....you nailed it.
ReplyDeleteThe muse so often forsakes one, when we need it the most.. or perhaps life divides us from the one that is essential to inner harmony.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was intended more as a result of a late night conversation with my Muse than a description of it ... but the Muse can take various forms, and this particular loved one has often embodied mine.
DeleteThis is so vivid with the contrasting feelings of hope and loss. That last line in brilliant. Beautiful, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteI fee the loss.. If only we could touch a loved one for just a few minutes, we might find a way to breathe again.
ReplyDeleteA word acrostic, eh? I've never encountered this. Very cool. No point in my trying it out myself, though, because the technique's clearly been mastered already. Well done. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I first saw this device in someone else's poem a few years ago, very well mastered by that person ... so then I had to try for myself!
DeleteI can feel your loss of Selene in this beautiful and sad poem Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteI've read this several times, and with each reading, I fall more deeply into it, and love all of it. Even as if breathes sorrow, pain, mixed with the irrational hope, in the waking moment, the confusion ... and the ending, wow - it just really hits hard, in the most beautiful way; you've really captured so much here Rosemary - truly, it speaks and reaches in so many ways - Brava!
ReplyDelete(this is a new fave for me :D )
the moment when one is between sleep and true wakefulness can be very sweet especially with a wish like yours... This poem takes us from one emotion to the opposite one...
ReplyDeleteAcrostic poems are hard to write and yet have meaning . But with these words as a start, Risemary, you did wonders. There is a little pang of fear to reach over to feel an empty spot, even if it's an innocent bathroom track .
ReplyDelete..
That's poignant and beautifully written...
ReplyDeleteSuch a stunning line, Rosemary: Clouds are not more evanescent than these false, glorious moments.
ReplyDelete