Speaking as an Inanimate Object
Because you are away, I am silent.
Your expressive eyes, that used to
demand my voice, do not greet me.
Because you are not here, my own eyes
don't see what else is in the space. You
are not moving around it, filling it.
At night I do not touch you, do not
feel your warmth against me. I lie down
and though I don't sleep, I am as one dead.
Your grace is absent from my house,
with your humour and your beauty.
You used to talk to me with your eyes.
Small black cat, you made me alive. Now
that you yourself have left this life, where
am I to go to find energy and purpose?
I eat, I weed the garden, I watch TV,
I feed my computer. I see myself in the mirror.
I look real. It's a perfect illusion.
Everything goes on interminably.
Only you don't continue (yet you do
but as a memory, as an absence).
You continue as pain. Or else I numb myself
and never think of you for long minutes.
See! I am becoming robot. It must suffice.
For Poems in April ~ Day 2 at 'imaginary garden with real toads' we are asked to write from the perspective of an inanimate object.
This is heart-wrenchingly beautiful, Rosemary. Selene continues to live in our hearts .. sigh..
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid it's going to take me a while to work through the emotions.
DeleteI feel the grief, Rosemary. Losing a pet is like losing a friend - the pain is so profound but other people don't always understand that because it is just an animal which can be replaced to them.
ReplyDeleteYes - because there were just the two of us, it was quite an intense relationship.
DeleteAnd yes again, I can't tell you how many friends have already offered me new cats, at this inappropriate juncture.
Oh, this is such an emotive write, Rosemary! The feelings are profound in their experience and it's heartbreaking to take a measure of this absence. This is so melancholic: "You continue as pain. Or else I numb myself/and never think of you for long minutes."
ReplyDeletemy own eyes
ReplyDeletedon't see what else is in the space. You
are not moving around it, filling it.... the haunting force of absence. So much love...and grief.
Oh Rosemary ... ... you say it *so* well ... ...
ReplyDeletethis is piercingly frank and honest, speaks of the depth of the relationship, the way you both shared and exchanged .... grief and sorrow, mourning takes the amount of time it does .... and if you listen to your heart, you will get through the moments, the days and hours. Just because a beloved loss is of a companion/"pet" nature doesn't make it any less hurtful or deep. Intense connections happen where and as they do. My heart goes out to you Rosemary, and I'd like to think your beloved Selene is still with you, and watching out for you, with her feline grace and wisdom.
ReplyDeleteOffers insights into a special kind of loss and grief
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful and sad. I can feel your loss on a such a deep level.
ReplyDeleteYet again you made me weep about the death of Selene. An absence....I cannot say more.
ReplyDelete"Everything goes on interminably.
ReplyDeleteOnly you don't continue (yet you do
but as a memory, as an absence)."
A loss whose pain continues. I know it well.
Anyone who has ever loved and lost a dear animal companion can feel this in their core. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI understand as I lost my beloved dog last year. I miss her every day
ReplyDeleteI'm blinking back the tears, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteOh, I understand this grieving process. We lost an outside cat last January. He just disappeared one day. I was searching the back door for weeks for his furry sweet face. I find myself doing it even now, a longing hope he will find his way back to me.
ReplyDeleteAhh! Feeding our computers, that's what we do. Even when they are still here. A finely tuned poem.
ReplyDelete