Haibun: Autumn chill
My little cat liked to do a daily inspection of ‘her’ back yard – a small area enclosed by high fences, with a few plants in pots and a flourishing crop of weeds in narrow beds edging the space. She would sit on a central paving stone and look around in a leisurely sweep, first at the ground, then up to the tops of the fences. She’d saunter over to sniff the grasses in the weed patch before selecting one with a sharp edge to rub along her neck. Now that she is not here, I inspect the garden for her – watering the pot-plants, pulling the worst of the weeds, patting in passing the outdoor chair where she occasionally rested (though she preferred to lie under it). One day I’ll resume sitting out here, meditating.
the sun withdraws
from my silent garden
evenings lengthen
This is so poignant! Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.
ReplyDeleteThe haiku provides the perfect counterpoint to the prose passage.
ReplyDeleteI feel the melancholy, the sense of loss, even though you only allude to it. Well crafted.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful memory Rosemary. Our pets mean so much to us. I know you feel her absence, it's heart wrenching.
ReplyDeleteI love that you honour her by making the rounds in her place. I am sure her spirit saunters along with you, still looking for those nice scratchy plants..........she was so sweet! She had such a safe lovely yard in which to reign.
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friends was a wonderful little black smoke cat. I adopted him and his younger cousin or half-sister from the animal shelter. He always had a myriad of what seemed to be minor health issues. Then on his sixth birthday, it was discovered that his kidneys had failed. I made the horrible decision to have him put to sleep so he wouldn't suffer. This was July 17, 2015. I had a tattoo honoring him put on my left shoulder. I still miss him so much. His death broke me even more than I was already broken.
ReplyDeleteThis truly does have an autumn chill to it - the autumn of our years. I love the picture of selene in her garden, overseeing everything. Your grief at her is palpable - the not sitting in her chair. a beautiful haibun Rosemary, sad and true.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely way to describe the colossal void left be someone loved...
ReplyDeleteI bet her spirit follows you around, just to be close (and, of course, to make sure you are doing it right). I also bet that your throat tightens and eyes shine while you are at it.
ReplyDeleteThat haiku knows loss...
I agree, her spirit is with you. I also know that empty feeling, the sense of loss felt in all those places where beautiful normal left memories.
ReplyDeleteYour love for your sweet animals is so clear. I wonder... why not get another? You could get an older one ... life is just sweeter and you have a lot to offer another one and vise versa...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the suggestion, but
Deletea) I am still grieving for Selene, and would find it hard to welcome another; also am convinced she was so wondrous and special that no other could ever measure up.
b) I have spent most of my life looking after others (people and animals) and would like permanent respite now that I am in my 80th year.
c) I would like to enjoy more free time and spontaneity which cannot happen when one is responsible for another.
d) I am on a low income, and welcome the freeing up of my finances without pet expenditure.
e) An older one means potential health problems coming around all the sooner, which means less free time, less free money, more responsibility....
f) I have some health issues of my own these days, of a kind which make it difficult for me to care for a pet without more-than-usual involvement of veterinary staff and consequent costs.
And g) After a long life, I've had enough heartbreak!
DeleteI'm glad that you have a nice garden, Rosemary. Some day you might rub your neck. I am running real late again, but the visits I have made others seem to like to tell of pets. I did. You did very well with your story, I enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDelete..
Every spot they sat in or places they touched are tattoos on your heart.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that this companion brought you so much joy. Still,
I can feel that Autumn chill.